L'Etoile

When the word classic gets thrown around too much, then it's devalued. Which is why we we're reticent to call L'Etoile a classic. But what defines a classic?

Well, the first thing you do is look beyond the shabbily printed and laminated menus, and the basic description of the dishes that might not look out of place in a continental tourist trap. And here it's not shabby chic, because it doesn't seem like this place has been redecorated since the bicentenary of the storming of the Bastille.

And with it's positioning as an Ormeau Road destination, you wouldn't want it any other way.

It's a cold Sunday night and there's still a dozen or so people adding to the cosy atmosphere. If you're looking real estate, then L'Etoile is not for you, as we're essentially eating in a standard two-up, two down terrace. If you're looking fancy cutlery, and tables with four legs the same size, go elsewhere.

But if you're looking rustic French cooking, with sauces you can float a brick on, alongside steaks cooked to perfection and classics that have stood the test of time, then you're in the right place. And it would be remiss to mention that it's bring your own, so a few extra pounds to spend in the Vineyard can net you a big beefy red to match the muscular cookery on offer.

Service is very French, if you know what we mean - professional waiting on display, and very efficient it is too - weekend nights see two sittings, seven and quarter past nine, where the staff take all the orders at the same time, then the food filters out whenever it's ready. If you want fast food, you can go to subway. It's not really an issue though, because by the time the drink gets flowing, L'Etoile can be like eating at a friend's house party - which we realise might sound like heaven or hell, depending.

The menu hasn't changed in years, but with French Onion Soup on offer that would constitute a meal in and of itself, and chicken liver pate that would cause many a happy heart attack if taken in bulk. Snails and frogs legs are available seasonally, for the adventurous and everything is served with a basket of complimentary French bread.

Steaks are huge, perfectly cooked and come with any side order you want as long as it's garlic potatoes. And because we're in a French restaurant you'll be frowned upon if you venture north of Medium, and rightly so - if you don't like the taste of beef, don't eat it. Pork, duck and chicken are also available, and served with a similar lack of compromise and surfeit of succulence.

Desserts finish the job, the classics coming to the fore, profiteroles, crème brulee, and French cheese delivering the coup de grace. There's no mission of getting anything low calorie, vegan or gluten free on the menu - and it's a better place for it.

L'Etoile can be found at 407 Ormeau Road and here – letoile407.co.nr